Dr. Mallard's Diary: Entry 7.2

Cats are also quite guilty in that a good chunk of cats are not actually cats at all- They're goblins. Yes, indeed goblins. Now, anyone who has ever owned a cat, or a goblin for that matter will agree, there  are very few differences between the two creatures.  Both are temperamental, hairy, pointy eared bastards who'll steal your food and act like they own you.  The only real difference is intention. The cat is the only creature with any actual malice towards their owner. 

Now physically, the similarities are uncanny and ninety-nine percent of the time you don't actually have to check, but if you absolutely have to know if you have a goblin, pick up your pet. Already that is a daunting task, I know, but it's the price for knowing. Give them a big long look in the face. Really search their souls through the hollow pits of their eyes. Intuition will guide you...with a fifty percent margin of error.